Recap..

I've been away for too long.. Here are some things that I need to catch up on before I forget them forever..

1. The same week Bella turned 8 months old, she learned how to crawl, pull herself to standing (lots of boo boo's and tears at first), and how to "cruise".. so much so fast!
2. Bella turned 1 on March 4th!! I made her cake myself out of a vegan blondie cake mix from Earthfare and used cream cheese mixed with vanilla and banana for the icing! She shared it with her pal Logan but I was sad that she didn't dive right in. Usually those chubby fingers are in everyone's food!! 


3.  Bella took her first steps right after her first birthday! Now she can take an average of 8 steps on her own! She still prefers to hold our hand when she walks around in public and throws a FIT when we try to pick her back up. It is so adorable that she just wants to walk around in circles.. she has a huge smile the whole time. 

4. I found my wedding dress!! I can't say much more at the moment just in case Gerard reads this blog.. but it's gorgeous and actually turned out to be eco friendly, which is something I wasn't seeking out, but still elated that it turned out that way. It took two trips to Atlanta (thank you mom..!) and I actually picked a dress the first time. That was followed by an almost panic attack and I changed my mind. The second trip was much more successful, I couldn't be happier with the dress! 
5. The wedding is getting closer and school is finally coming to an end for Gerard and I'm so happy for him and for us. We're going through the process of getting his green card so hopefully he can start working soon and we can finally become more independent! I won't be done with school until December, but the end is in sight and that makes me really happy. I can't wait for this semester to be over, it will be the last one that I'll have to take on a full load. I'm so excited to move on from this poo town! 
6. We had little mice in the house!! They were tiny little deer mice that seemed harmless and it made me ill to get rid of them because at first they didn't bother us. I know most females would freak out and demand them dead instantly! But I just had a really hard time with it.. I had to use those sticky sheets which kills them, but so slowly. And my mom has a phobia of mice and Gerard was a little miss about them, so I had to do ALL the dirty work and I didn't want to kill them in the first place! But I had to think of Bella first and I couldn't bear it if she caught some sort of disease now that she roams the floors... It was hard, but needed to be done. No squeaks lately, so I guess that killing the six of them was enough to scare the rest off. 

A lot more has happened.. But I'll do better to keep track. I really like the idea that I can come back and remember everything. Love you Bella! 

NEW BLOG!

Hi all (all 4 of you! ;)) Click here to see Gerard and I's new blog where family and friends can watch our journey of planning the wedding as well as for information when the wedding gets closer. So far, we know it will in July 2010, and all family is invited. I will be posting the date, the time, the ceremony and reception site, detailed directions, where we will be registered, as well as tons of photos! Just in case you lose the future "save the date" cards or invitations, you can go to this blog and access any and all information you may need!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day ♥

Cancer in our Bathroom

So I've been doing a lot of research lately about the cosmetic products (like shampoo, conditioners, face wash, face moisterizers, lotions, soaps, etc) that contain more chemicals than in some of my basic house cleaning products. I looked up most of those big words you see in the ingredients list on the back of shampoo bottles and other things.. chemicals such as sodium laurenth sulfate, TEA (triethanolamine) Laurent Sulfate (Also DEA), DMDM Hydantoin, Sodium Hydroxide.. I could go on for quite a while, but spelling these words is making my head hurt..

I have to say, maybe ignorance has been bliss.. I always read the back of bottles in the shower while I'm waiting for my conditioner to "work" or if I'm just not ready to get out into that cold air.. and I NEVER knew what these ingrediants were.. but did I question them? Nope. I lathered up some more. For my entire life. 22 1/2 years of rubbing these chemicals on my skin! And we all wonder where our cancers come from. Why do they just pop up out of nowhere. What about those people who have no chancer in their family tree? Why have their branches been shaken? Are we, as Americans, being taken advantage of? Hardly any of us, including me, keep up with the news in Europe the way they keep up with ours. Why should we? So many things are happening right here, in the most powerful country in the world, we just don't have the time to read up on many other coutries outside of the ones involved in this war. But I can tell you something, most of these chemicals have been BANNED, as in made ILLEGAL, in Europe. Thus far, the FDA regulates NINE chemicals in cosmetics.. the EU prohibits over 1,100.

I have to put this out there for those that don't know.. about 75% or more of these chemicals in our products are known carcinogens and are linked to cancer. And we absorb over 80% of the things we put on our skin, as in they go right into our bloodstream. I had put them on my baby! They put these ingrediants in baby products! I couldn't believe it.. The ones that aren't carcinogens are either linked to dermatitus or other chronic skin condtions, or can be attributed to our common breaks outs (like mineral oil, aka parrafin wax, aka petrolateum). Even the perservatives in our products are things like Formaldehyde (but they put it in a fancy labratory term).

I know I've been ranting, but I feel very strongly about this. I want to warn everyone! We don't need to use these products! I myself have been making my own. I made my own shampoo, conditioner, skin care products, body lotion and body wash. Including ones that are safe for Bella (like an organic body wash with organic lavender essential oil that knocks her out when followed with chemical free lotion laced with the same lavender). I've thrown out everything else! Everything is now all natural, and I have to say, my hair has never been softer. My skin has never been brighter. My pores haven't been this small since before puberty! And it turned out to be really easy. Anyone out there who is more interested, contact me please. Any family members out there especially, who want some of these natural products, just let me know! I'll make them for you and bring them to you myself.. I'd do anything to get rid of your toxic products!

And don't fall for the marketing gimics by the large manufacturing companies! For example, L'Oreal has put out a Sodium Laurenth Sulfate (SLES) free shampoo and conditioner "free of harsh salts and sulfates" set called "Ever Pure" .. I checked it. This isn't even close to "pure". All of the other chemicals remain. Do not be fooled people!

If you're interested in anymore information, go to this link or this one and read up for yourself. We all trust the FDA.. so why are they allowing carcinogens in our baby shampoo? And they are aware of it, believe me. Please, join me in banning these products from your bathroom, from your children, and from yourself!

Quote of the week

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzo

I found this quote on a day when I needed strength the most.. only to realize I've had it all along.
I hope everyone is having an amazing week!

ENGAGED!!!

Yes! It's true!

Gerard proposed last night while we layed in bed with Bella in between us - it was so sweet and perfect to have it just us, just our family. He had been putting me off the scent for weeks! He had gotten it 2 weeks ago but just got his hands on it last night. He said he had so many different ideas that would have to go according to plan exactly, but once he got a hold of the ring he couldn't wait to do it. He was so sneaky! I was shocked!! I didn't even hear the end of his speech when he said "Will you marry me?" because I was crying and my head was spinning! But I said, OF COURSE! I'm so excited and it still doesn't feel real. What a perfect way to get me out of my rut. I have had a serious bounce in my step and nothing could wipe the smile off my face.. All I have to do is look down at my left hand :)

I LOVE YOU GERRY!!!

Venting

Okay so, I've kind of lost sight of what this blog is meant to be. I know that it's for Bella in the future and for me to be able to look back and remember everything.. but I feel like many people have way more and complex problems than me and therefore I don't like putting anything out there.. but then I realized that maybe writing it out will help me and I shouldn't worry about what others think.. but I do.

I'm so stressed. I don't know how much more I can handle. I feel guilty when I'm thinking "Oh my goodness Bella I just need 5 minutes to myself!".. I feel terrible about that. Last night Gerard had an away game and was gone from 1pm to midnight and so I of course took care of Isabella but I also had two major tests to study for in my hardest subjects. I of course got none of it done.. I just did my best guestimations and crossed my fingers.. Now, I knew the material, but not like I could have... Seeing graduation in the near future has made me a bit of an overachiever and I wanted nothing less than an A in everything.. I mean, I want it bad.

I feel so guilty for thinking bad things when Gerard pays more attention to Bella.. how awful is that.. I guess maybe it's triggered by the fact that we have NO time together. He has so many away games.. for example, I'll alone for the entire day on saturday because he has a game 5 hours away. Now, that's not so bad because I don't have class that day or the day following, but it's still a lot to handle when I have so much on my plate. It's hard to prioritize but that's no excuse for feeling neglected because he wants to love on his daughter.. I'm sorry little girl.

I feel guilty for sometimes releasing my stress when I finally do get home because as Gerard reminded me today, home is the one place where I can be myself and relax and lean on him. The problem is, I don't sleep. And when I do sleep I wake up with this horrible stomach full of anxiety - like that feeling you get when someone scares the absolute crap out of you, except it doesn't go away and I lay awake trying to take deep breaths or going for a walk around the house. I wish I could just stay at home and be a full time mommy and be happy for the time I get to laugh and play with Bella. But instead my mind is somewhere else and I hate it. She is already growing up so fast and I'm missing out on moments I can't get back.

I'm sorry to Gerard and Bella Girl, I'll try to do better. I'll be the old me again soon, I promise. If I didn't have you Gerard, I would be lost. And if I didn't have you Isabella, I wouldn't be complete. I'm very thankful for the both of you..

A moment to brag please...

So this happened about a week ago but things got away from me so I forgot to post, but.. Gerard has been doing amazing on the team! He was named Big South Player of the Week, which means he was the best player that week out of every single person in their D1 conference which is basically the whole east coast..
THEN..

He was named MVP of their tournament to raise money for breast cancer..

AND THEN..
he was named to the national team in which only 11 players out of the entire country are chosen!! He is the only person at GWU, in the entire history of the school, to have been given that honor.

The reason for all this recognition was that he scored 4 goals and had one assist in just FOUR games.. he was on a hot streak. They have only had one game since so I'm glad I got the chance to report on his amazingness thus far.. but I just had to brag. Apparently Bella is going to be pushed into soccer with hopes that she enjoys it and I thought it would be nice for her to have something to look back on to see that her daddy was the best, because he is. He is having the most amazing senior year and I'm so proud of him.. now keep your fingers crossed that he gets invited to the MLS trials over the Christmas holiday!! I'm so proud of you Gerard! You make time to be a great dad, a great boyfriend, a great student, and a great player.. you are truly amazing and I love you.

(laugh all you want at me Gerry, I know you love it..)