Bella's First Slumber Party

So I did it. I spent the night away from Bella. Hardest thing I have EVER done. Which goes without saying, that I've had a pretty easy time so far. Anyway, Gerard had a game on Friday but was off from soccer until Monday so we took that oppertunity to have a night to ourselves.

I dropped Bella off in Charlotte with my mom and then actually had to leave and go back home.. it was that leaving part that I wasn't prepared for. I was fine on the drive over and walked in and hung out for a while. But my stomach was doing flips and turns when I realized I actually had to walk out of the door, get in the car, back out and head home, without my baby in tow. I was miserable the whole ride home, crying my eyes out while listening to happy music (to try to take my mind of off it, unsuccessfully). We both got ready to go out. We dressed up nice and I actually spent some time on my make-up. It was nice to look nice. But I turned the corner to enter our room to finish dressing and there was Gerard - kneeling on the bed and smelling Bella's PJ's that she had worn the night before. I feel deeper in love with him at that moment, it was so sweet.

We went over to a friends house and I somehow stayed awake until 2:30 when we finally came home. That scene is just not for me anymore. I missed Bella and everyone kept asking how she was and I said I couldn't talk about it because I didn't want to start crying again. I also don't enjoy drinking anymore - I had a few and just couldn't be bothered to have anymore. I guess there are just so many things that are more important that I just couldn't get in that sort of mindset. It was nice to be able to sleep in until 10:30 though. As we got closer to my moms, I had such anxiety I felt sick. I missed her so much and I couldn't get home fast enough. It was so hard for me to leave her but there were many times during Saturday when I looked at her and realized just how much I loved her. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder. ♥